Why is being nervous to join a baby group completely normal?

Whilst pregnant, googling the baby groups you can join can feel exciting.

When your baby arrives the thought of actually going to a baby group can feel completely overwhelming and you will start to wonder what is wrong with you.

You will wonder what happened to that excited pregnant you.

I’m here to tell you that it is COMPLETELY NORMAL to feel this way.

I did. It was only when my second born was 6 months old that I felt ready to even contemplate joining a class.

Loads of things went through my mind:

What if my baby cries?

What if everyone has already made friends and I don’t fit in?

What if my baby sleeps, will I feel awkward?

Again completely normal things to think about.  

Let's face it. Walking into a room full of strangers, especially when they're fellow parents who seem like they've got it all figured out, can be intimidating. I mean, who hasn't scrolled through Instagram and felt like they're the only one whose baby isn't sleeping through the night or hasn’t mastered the art of swaddling?

Feeling nervous is totally legit. Becoming a parent is hard. Nothing can prepare you for the whirlwind of emotions you experience, especially in those first few months. Think back to your first day at high school or your first day in a new job. You can probably still feel how your body felt in those situations to this day.

So how do you reframe your mind to help you make the first step?

Firstly, well done for reading this blog! This means you are already taking the first steps.

Taking each of my reservations above here is the reality, from someone who has had all the feelings you are feeling now.

What if my baby cries?

Babies cry. It is what they are designed to do. It’s their way of communicating with us. You are in a room with other mummies who get this and completely understand. If your baby cries it is OK. No one will judge you. No one will think you are a bad mum. Crying babies . . . normal and expected.

What if everyone has already made friends and I don’t fit in?

It is true that this can happen. Some mummies may find a group they love and book on for several courses. This will mean that they have already bonded and know each other quite well. But . . . remember that at some time they will have been exactly like you. New to the group and nervous too. You don’t need to introduce yourself to the whole group. Start by talking to the person next to you or even just giving them a smile. Usually in a group there will be a starting conversation where you will have a chance to share something or give advice and this is a great way to get started in making friends. Often the women in the group will make a group chat for you to keep in touch between classes and sometimes suggest meet ups too.

What if my baby sleeps, will I feel awkward?

Babies love sleep, but the always seem to sleep when you want them to be awake and be awake when you want them to be asleep don’t they?!

If you arrive with a sleeping baby, its ok to leave them to sleep. It’s also OK if your baby fall asleep halfway through a class. In some classes, especially baby massage, the instructor may have a doll so you can practice the techniques. They may also send you a guide so you can do the techniques at home.

Here are some of my tips for finding the right class for you:

1. Do your research – look at websites and social media. You will get a good sense of what the class will offer and how it will make you feel.

2. Take recommendations – these are usually great. Ask any questions you want to.

3. Try a taster – some groups offer a free or paid for taster so you can get a feel for the class. If they aren’t advertised ask.

4. Look at class sizes – are smaller groups your thing, or do you not mind larger groups.

For me, I loved classes that were small and welcoming. This is what I try to recreate in my classes so I have a maximum for 6 mummies in a class and make sure we have plenty of time to talk before and after. If you would like more information on my courses click here.

As with most things, we normally build things up bigger than they are in our heads. The three things to help you before you attend your class:

1. Have a test run of how to find the venue, that way on the day you will know exactly where you are going and won’t be worrying about getting lost.

2. Make sure you set off with time to spare.

3. Take some calming breaths before you go in – in for 4 and out for more.

Do you have any tips? If so please pop them in the comments below to help other new mummies.

Kelly xxx